A Love Letter for Me, Someday


Hola Amigos! Today, i'm going to write something in english. I don't know exactly what it is by now. Just a random thing which stuck in my head. Maybe just a poem, or maybe some thought. It's been a while since last time i'm doing this. So please, don't judge me as you think it might be happen at me right now. This post is dedicated for me, you and for everyone who read it, who feels the same. It might be happened yesterday, now or even tomorrow. For sure, anything might happen to us, right? As a reminder, please consider to read this only when you need it. Yes, you can bookmark this on your web browser, for free.

My friends keep told me, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Yeah, sounds familiar, don't you? But it sure feels like you're dying while it's doing it. I know. It's OK, If He/She doesn't like you. You aren't weird. It's normal. It's okay to feel angry, or sad, or even feel tricked or betrayed. And it's okay to play all break up song you had in your spotify, I did. You are allowed to do that. Time heals all wounds, but time drags its feet slower than a moving snail when you're miserable. But still, have hope.

Wise man said, "having the love of your life break-up with you and say 'we can still be friends', is like your dog dying and your mom saying you can still keep it". Hard to believe, but you can't make anybody do anything. If there was a reason He/She left you, that reason will probably present itself again in the future. As a human, we might adapt to our surroundings, lifestyle, friends, technology, new home but deep down, you will be who you always been. And it happened to everyone. 

Pink and Nate Ruess said, "just give me a reason.. we can learn to love again". No matter how we improve ourself, we will have to accept that there will always be someone that cannot be lured back. We know that. And it wasn't the answer You and I wanted to admit. It felt broken inside. For me, I wanted it to work. Despite all unfavorable odds. If I could tell, my depression couldn't possibly be accurately articulated by this letter. You'd have to hug me, look me in the eye, hold my hand, and watch the way the sky reflects a sadness in my eyes.

Please hear this song, by Jesse & Joy - Echoes of Love, while you read the rest of this letter, as I did. My experience kept me optimistic. Love makes you do insane things, often beautiful things. It robs your logic. You know one day He/She will be gone. You know there will be a day that such things cease to exist in your memory. And last, I should remind myself or you, that we should save ourself to find someone who really loves and appreciates us. Some people give loyalty and want loyalty in return. But some people, they don't understand how it works. It's true that you finally accept his/her decision to break up as He/She doesn't have strength to survive. A relationship is build by trust and promises. You know that you already try to give your best, and you become stronger when He/She trusts you.

Love destroys all the senses. Its kinda funny. Someday you should remind this, if He/She leaves you, It means that He/She has made a decision which makes him/her happy, now it is your turn to make a decision that secure your happiness and peace of mind. Look at yourself. You know that you are hoping for him/her to come back, who is probably with someone else now, and yet you are worried for him/her. Now you still looking for his/her name in your phone, your social media, your group chat or even every road you've been walk by with him/her. Deep down you realize his/her presence with "laugh" stab you hardly through your heart.

The only reason you certain He/She will never leave is that you love him/her. You keep telling everyone "He/She is fantastic", as you want everybody in the entire world know it. Bodies grow and mind change, and words can so easily be forgotten. If He/She leaves you, of course, it feels like the world is exploding around you. Words will fly. Heart will shatter. But please keep remind me, if He/She is the one made that decision, you have to realize that you did everything you could for him/her and other people would accept your value. Unless you physically, emotionally cheated him/her or abused him/her.

Yes, you can desperately sad. Yes, you can cry everyday when alone until you cannot cry anymore. Yes, you can be friend with Him/Her. But, keep in touch is His/Her way of unconsciously wanting to still feel liked without having to return it. It might be a form of emotional abuse that leave you with a cruel sense of hope. You have to remind yourself, you are not back-up plan. If He/She regrets his/her decision, He/She would tell you immediately. If they're not, just stop. It's their decision to leave you. So, Just stop! Stop caring for people who don't care for you. Just stop! stop loving someone who doesn't love you. Just stop! Stop hoping, thinking and trying to get him/her back for someone who no longer hoping you back. Just stop...

"Even this letter won't be enough to describe what I've been through, to remind me, 
and to explain how i feel for you"

ps: i read too many quote and broken heart article
when feeling desperate, so there might be some similarity
and some quoted sentences

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